Belonging

I want my children to know they belong.

I also want my kids to know that we're a family, and we stand by each other - always. I'm constantly trying to figure out better ways to show my 5 year old son that he belongs in our family - not just that he was born into our family, but I want him (and my daughter once she's older) to have a real sense of belonging. That's more than just the mere circumstances of birth. It's a sense that you are accepted unconditionally, loved unendingly and cherished. It's knowing that your family and your home are a haven from the emotional beatings we have to endure in life, and it also requires that we, the family, make sure that we are not a source of pain for each other.

It really means answering the call of Jesus to love others unconditionally. This includes my children when they are in the midst of a gigantic temper-tantrum or have just accidentally spilled milk all over my freshly-cleaned kitchen floor. It means sacrificing my comfort -- and sometimes happiness -- for the benefit of another. Now, that's where it really gets tough. Sometimes I'll snap at my husband or child, or I may have a complaining or ungrateful spirit simply because it pacifies my own selfish nature. Whenever this happens, I am reminded of how inadequate I really am. I must depend on God to fill me with His love so that it overflows out of me to others because I am utterly incapable of loving unconditionally on my own. Otherwise, I might be a source of pain and hurt for the people I love. Our family's home may not be a haven from the hurts of the outside world, and my children may decide to seek emotional refuge elsewhere.

Giving my children a sense of belonging also means building a grace-filled home, where each of us is allowed to make mistakes, yet can expect to be forgiven. This begins with me allowing my children to see my faults (my husband already sees them very clearly) and not pretending to be perfect. It means not only forgiving my children when they wrong me, but also asking their forgiveness when I hurt them. I want our home to be a place where we are all mutually accepting of each other and each other's faults. And it is my highest hope that we extend our grace-filled environment outside our home and touch others. This is what I believe Jesus meant when He said in Matthew chapter 5: 14-16 (The Message paraphrase), "You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand -- shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven."

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"Father, help me to love unconditionally, as You first loved us. May our home be a place of grace, where our children know they belong, and where your mercy and grace are evident to others. I pray our children would grow up with the knowledge that You, Father, love them even more than we do, and that they would early in life decide they belong to You."