Monday, March 24, 2008

No More Nice Girl


I recently read the book, Nice Girls Don't Change The World, by Lynne Hybels. It's a fantastic little book that challenges a notion that many women (particularly those raised in the church) have readily accepted, which is that God requires them to always be a "nice girl" -- living as a people-pleaser and never breaking the mold or ruffling any feathers. This book was born out of Lynne's personal journey of learning to no longer settle for "niceness." Instead, she battled herself out of depression by learning that God wanted her to become a "good woman" and live out His purpose. Here is her definition of a good woman:
The opposite of a nice girl, I learned is a "good woman." Being a good woman means trading the safe, passive, people-pleasing behavior of niceness for the dynamic power of true goodness. It means moving from the weakness and immaturity of girlhood toward the strength and maturity of womanhood.
Whereas a nice girl of any age lives out the script she learned as a child -- a script too often grounded in powerlessness -- a woman acknowledges and accepts her power to change, and grow, and be a force for good in the world.

Whereas a nice girl tends to live according to the will of others, a good woman has only one goal: to discern and live out the will of God.

A good woman knows that her ultimate calling in life is to be part of God's plan for redeeming all things in this sin-touched world.

A good woman knows she cannot be all things to all people, and she may, in fact displease those who think she should just be nice. She is not strident or petty or demanding, but she does live according to conviction. She knows that the Jesus she follows was a revolutionary who never tried to keep everyone happy.

That picture of a good woman made me want to be one. It made me want to grow up and trade the innocuous acceptability of niceness for the world-changing power and passion of true goodness.

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