Well, I am officially exhausted. Pooped. Whipped. Whatever you want to call it.
Today has been one of those emotionally stressful days that sometimes occur in the life of a stay-at-home parent, and I am physically and mentally exhausted. My children have steadily beaten me down all day. I'm sure it was a conspiracy. "I'll have a temper-tantrum over losing a game of Chutes and Ladders, and just when I've got her all flustered, YOU start screaming and crying in your high-chair and throw your sippy cup on the floor. Make sure the milk splatters everywhere when you do it, too, OK? We'll take her down!"
This afternoon, around 4 PM, when my blood had finally hit it's boiling point and I was about to blow a gasket, I got the idea to take a long, relaxing shower in the hopes of having some time to be alone and talk to God - to re-center myself in His love. I prayed (in desperation, to be completely honest) and asked God to help me see the world through my 5-year-old's eyes. As you can imagine, we had been at each other's throats for most of the day, and I'm sure many of our battles were a result of me not understanding his thoughts and intentions. Starting to feel renewed, I began singing a song that came to mind, Your Love, Oh Lord by Third Day. Well, wouldn't you know the little sucker who was supposed to be in his bed sleeping off his bad attitude, which is almost always the result of him being too tired, had sneaked into the bathroom? I spun around just in time to see his blurry hand reach for the shower door, but a quick reprimand (probably the 100th of the day) stopped him from following through with his plan - whatever it was. So while I'm praying to be able to see the world from his point of view, he's plotting to expose me in the shower!
There are definitely moments when I wonder, "Will he ever know the lengths of my love and sacrifices for him? Will he ever really understand? Will he ever thank me?" Of course, as I write this, I am sure I'm only feeling a portion of what our Heavenly Father feels for us. Will we ever know the depth and width of HIS love? Will we ever really understand how it felt for God when Jesus, his Son, with whom he is One, took on all the guilt and shame of all eternity and died as a man in a humiliating, painful manner on a Roman cross? How many of us will ever thank him? Just a few thoughts that came to me right now as I am typing.
Well, both of the little boogers are finally in bed, and I'm TIRED. It's 9:30 PM. After a day like today, I probably should have my head on a pillow right now, or at least be watching Dirty Jobs on Discovery Channel. But, instead, I'm spending my time writing this blog entry. Now, I'm starting to think I might also be crazy.
**************************************************************
Lyrics to Your Love, Oh Lord by Third Day (my shower song)
Your love, oh Lord
Reaches to the heavens.
Your faithfulness stretches to the sky
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains
Your justice flows like the ocean's tide
I will lift my voice
To worship You, my King
I will find my strength
In the shadow of your wings
No comments:
Post a Comment