Building a Home Full of Grace

As I looked through my bookshelf recently, I came across Building a Home Full of Grace by John and Susan Yates and family. I remember when I first read this book several years ago, I was so struck by the real-life, practical wisdom the Yates family offered in this joint publication. John and Susan along with their five grown children produced the book, in which they describe through personal experience how to build a home characterized by grace. Theirs is a home in which grace is freely given to those within it, and that same grace overflows into the lives of others. Because of their gracious lives, family friend, John Stott, encouraged the Yateses to pen this book. It's definitely a good read.

Grace is certainly a virtue my husband and I hope to cultivate in our home and lives. There's still much progress to be made, but I feel we're moving in the right direction.

The scripture passage below (in The Message paraphrase) makes me think of grace-filled lives.

You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand -- shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:14-16

Dunk-O-Rama

My in-laws have a vacation home in Duck, NC, and whenever we are down there with my husband's entire family, the men of the group spend hours designing and executing plays around the basketball hoop in the pool. Here's a video with just a sampling of what this looks like.

Just in case you're wondering... my husband is the guy who actually puts the ball in the hoop each time. He's a 36 year old with the athleticism of an 18 year old! The little boy in the background jumping in the pool is my son, as he tries to get in on the fun. Oh, yeah, and in the second half of the video, that's me sitting in the lounge chair looking on unenthusiastically.

Oh, How the Years Go By

Oh, how the years go by.
Oh, how the love brings tears to my eyes...

Those are a few lines from an old song by Amy Grant. I've been thinking about them today because my baby boy turned six years old today. I know it sounds so cliche, but it really does seem like yesterday that he was born. I can still recall so vividly the moment of his birth when I first saw his adorable doll-baby face, and my husband said, "I think he might be a looker!" I think there's something unique about the birth of your firstborn - that special moment when you're instantly transformed into a parent, with your heart suddenly living outside your body. You know right then that your priorities and desires will never be the same.

Well, I'm feeling all sentimental today because, for the first time, my baby boy is closer to his 10th birthday than he is to his infancy. It's a solemn reminder that time with my children is short and so precious. I don't want to look back with regret, feeling that I spent too much time on the mundane tasks of life and missed the special moments that make our lives memorable. I don't want to look back and feel that I spoke too harshly, hugged too infrequently, and said "no" too often when I really could have (and should have) said "yes".

Starlight

This afternoon I was fiddling with a new star-shaped Christmas tree topper, and I couldn't get it to stand up right on the top stem of our artificial tree. The wiry limb was just too flimsy to hold the weight of the new ornament, and in my frustration I said to my son, "I don't know. I think we'll just have to put a bow on top of the tree." He immediately responded incredulously, "But, Mama, bows don't have anything to do with Christmas!"

How cool is that? He was thinking about the Star of Bethlehem and not packages and bows. Even though he's got a Christmas list a mile long, when it came to the significance of our tree topper, he was focused on the true meaning of Christmas and really wanted a star to shine on top.

Of course, upon hearing such wisdom come from the mouth of my own offspring, I committed myself to finding a way to make the star stand up tall on top of our tree. Where there's a will there's a way, and I did indeed find a way. A couple of small wooden craft sticks and a few forest green pipe cleaners (to match the tree, of course) formed a supporting brace for the deficient limb, which now is festively adorned with a shiny, gold star.

Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, magi from the east arrived in Jerusalem, saying, "Where is He who has been born King of the Jews? For we saw His star in the east and have come to worship Him."

Matthew 2: 1-2

My Cardboard Testimony

Our church recently made a video of some of our attenders sharing their "Cardboard Testimonies". What is that you ask? Basically, everyone is given a large piece of cardboard. They then describe in a short sentence or phrase a condition or situation in their life from which God rescued them or changed them. On the back side of the cardboard, the person writes how their life has been changed by God's grace. The video above is an example of another church doing the very same thing. Watch it. It's really amazing.

I had planned what I would write for my cardboard testimony, but I never got around to filming it for our video. (So, Scott, if you're reading this, I did get your email and planned to be there the 2nd day of filming, but Mommy was too pooped with Daddy being out of town for the third night in a row. Let's just say, the kids won that day!) So here's what I would have written:

Front: PEOPLE-PLEASER
Back: GOD-PLEASER

If there's one thing God has been teaching me, it's to focus on pleasing Him with the unique life He has given me. I used to think that a "good Christian girl" had to talk, walk and act a certain way (and had to go to a certain type of church!) because after all, wasn't everyone watching me and learning from me what a Christian is supposed to look like? How many of us who've grown up in church have heard the guilt-inducing question, "If you were put on trial for being a Christian, would you be convicted?" It was ideas like these that got me thinking in the wrong direction for many years in my life. I was actually more concerned about how my life appeared to others than how it really was in my heart, the part that only God sees. I was more concerned with fitting an imaginary mold than being the unique woman God intended for me to be.

I lived much of my life trying to look like the perfect, got-it-all-together, "good Christian girl", wanting to please all the people around me. One of the problems with the generic "good Christian girl" approach to life is that I became very legalistic in the way I viewed myself and my own behavior. It was all about doing the right things - not about being the right person. Naturally, I also projected my legalistic view of myself onto others, judging them unfairly. I found myself making choices out of sense of guilt, instead of a conviction of God's leading in my life. I also became afraid of stepping outside the imaginary mold, and therefore, I am sure I missed opportunities where God was calling me to fill a role He intended for me. I am confident that I am not alone in having lived much of my life with this flawed sense of self.

Through all of this I am learning that God created me as a unique individual with a specific purpose to be a part if His grace-filled plan for redeeming this imperfect world and all us within it. He did not create me and then assign me to simply fill a generic role. The legalistic, people-pleasing "good Christian girl" life is never what God intended for me. So, if I were put on trial for being a Christian, would I be convicted? I certainly hope so, but not because I follow a prescribed set of rules that anyone could keep, but because I hope to be seen as a woman after God's own heart. Out of a pure heart flow pure actions (it's never the other way around, as so many of us live it), and I need to be concerned with the condition of my heart - the part of me that only God truly sees.

How about you? You are a unique creation of God, too. God didn't design you to fill a generic mold. Are you living to please Him and fulfill His unique purpose for your life?

Everyday Ministry, Part 2

My friend, Chris, wrote the following comment in response to my previous post, "Everyday Ministry". His story really sums up my convictions of letting our everyday lives be a blessing to others simply by picking up our cross daily and following Jesus.

That's great J. So often I find myself wasting time trying to figure out "how" to be a blessing to those around me. Sometimes I succeed...other times I fail. But it's just being a Christian that can be the greatest blessing to others. Just showing Jesus out of the abundance of your heart is all it takes.

When we were in Florida I had started a prayer group that met on Mondays at 5am in my home. A shy older man was attending the prayer group. I tried to encourage him, also, in his singing and he had recently joined the worship team as a singer and was stepping out more and more in the church, i.e. getting involved in prayer groups and other things. He was a friend, but I wouldn't say we were terribly close. I did nothing other that what I felt God leading me to do.

We had a going away party shortly before we moved and this man was at the party. At the party he brought me off to the side and shared his thoughts with me. He said, "I want to thank you for being an example and encouragement to me and my family." He could tell I wasn't sure what he meant. He began to unfold a list of comments and encouragements I had made to him in the past several months that prompted him to get up off his seat and get involved. He said he had not been happier in a long time. I just wept.

I had asked him to start leading certain prayer sessions at my house, just praying out loud what God laid on his heart. At first he said he was nervous, but did it anyway. Two months ago I got a call from him; he was just calling to see how we were doing. He again thanked me for encouraging him to step out in prayer; even before we left I was speaking with him a lot about prayer, how to pray, what to pray and how to hear God's voice when praying. He told me during this phone call that he had since taken over the entire prayer team at our church and had even begun teaching and leading congregational prayer times on Wednesday nights!

As I'm sure you can understand, it's much more gratifying to see the house being built one brick at a time than to just come in and buy a house already built. It creates a greater sense of accomplishment and appreciation that just couldn't be there otherwise. It's even more special when God turns you around and shows you a house you didn't even realize you were building. Although seemingly mundane and sometimes unsatisfying to the "instant gratification", that's the paradox of "Everyday Ministry".

So keep pressing on to finish the race, and thanks for being a blessing to me.

Everyday Ministry

Last night as I prayed with my 2-year-old daughter before bedtime, I was reflecting on the events of the week and how an unexpected (and undesired) change in our family's schedule had afforded us the opportunity to be a blessing to some special people in our lives. It's so humbling to see how God intervened in our plans, so that we could be a source of joy to others. As I prayed, the words, "Lord, let our lives be a blessing to others," flowed from my lips so naturally that I was keenly reminded of how unnatural that sentiment really is to me. It felt like a moment where God simply gave me the words to speak, and in doing so, He said to me, "This is what it's all about. Just follow where I lead, and I will make your everyday lives a ministry to others."

Wow.

It's amazing to me how quickly God answered my prayer. A dear friend shared with me how something she read on this blog today lifted her spirits at a time when she felt very discouraged. Once again, it is so humbling to know that God could use a few words I wrote earlier this week to minister to her spirit at the exact time she needed it.

Wow.

"Lord, let my life and the life of my family be a blessing to others. May your light shine through our lives, so that it may be You that they see - not us."

"God Is Not Schizophrenic"

"God is not schizophrenic." That's a shocking, yet poignant, quote from a frequently forwarded email written by the Jamaican-born christian pianist, Huntley Brown, to a group of friends as he comments on the obvious discord in the christian community regarding our upcoming presidential election.

Read the complete essay below, as copied from snopes.com, which verified the email's authenticity, to learn the context of the quote. Brown never intended for his email to gain national publicity, as he wrote it only in response to questions from his friends about his thoughts on Barack Obama. Also on snopes.com, Brown has written another short letter to the public regarding his now-famous private email.

Why I Can’t Vote For Obama

By Huntley Brown

Dear Friends,

A few months ago I was asked for my perspective on Obama, I sent out an email with a few points. With the election just around the corner I decided to complete my perspective. Those of you on my e-list have seen some of this before but it’s worth repeating…

First I must say whoever wins the election will have my prayer support. Obama needs to be commended for his accomplishments but I need to explain why I will not be voting for him.

Many of my friends process their identity through their blackness. I process my identity through Christ. Being a Christian (a Christ follower) means He leads I follow. I can’t dictate the terms. He does because He is the leader.

I can’t vote black because I am black; I have to vote Christian because that’s who I am. Christian first, black second. Neither should anyone from the other ethnic groups vote because of ethnicity. 200 years from now I won’t be asked if I was black or white. I will be asked if I knew Jesus and accepted Him as Lord and Savior.

In an election there are many issues to consider but when a society gets abortion, same-sex marriage, embryonic stem-cell research, human cloning to name a few, wrong economic concerns will soon not matter.

We need to follow Martin Luther King’s words, don’t judge someone by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I don’t know Obama so all I can go off is his voting record. His voting record earned him the title of the most liberal senator in the US Senate in 2007. NATIONAL JOURNAL: Obama: Most Liberal Senator in 2007 (01/31/2008)

To beat Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton as the most liberal senator, takes some doing. Obama accomplished this feat in 2 short years. I wonder what would happen to America if he had four years to work with.

There is a reason Planned Parenthood gives him a 100% rating. There is a reason the homosexual community supports him. There is a reason Ahmadinejad, Chavez, Castro, Hamas etc. love him. There is a reason he said he would nominate liberal judges to the Supreme Court. There is a reason he voted against the infanticide bill. There is a reason he voted No on the constitutional ban of same-sex marriage. There is a reason he voted No on banning partial birth abortion. There is a reason he voted No on confirming Justices Roberts and Alito. These two judges are conservatives and they have since overturned partial birth abortion. The same practice Obama wanted to continue.

Let’s take a look at the practice he wanted to continue:

The 5 Step Partial Birth Abortion procedures:

A. Guided by ultrasound, the abortionist grabs the baby’s leg with forceps. (Remember this is a live baby)
B. The baby’s leg is pulled out into the birth canal.
C. The abortionist delivers the baby’s entire body, except for the head.
D. The abortionist jams scissors into the baby’s skull. The scissors are then opened to enlarge the hole.
E. The scissors are removed and a suction catheter is inserted. The child’s brains are sucked out, causing the skull to collapse. The dead baby is then removed.

God help him. There is a reason Obama opposed the parental notification law.

Think about this: You can’t give a kid an aspirin without parental notification but that same kid can have an abortion without parental notification. This is insane.

There is a reason he went to Jeremiah Wright’s church for 20 years.

Obama tells us he has good judgment but he sat under Jeremiah Wright teaching for 20 years. Now he is condemning Wright’s sermons. I wonder why now?

Obama said Jeremiah Wright led him to the Lord and discipled him. A disciple is one in training. Jesus told us in Matthew 28:19 - 20 “Go and make disciples of all nations.” This means reproduce yourself. Teach people to think like you, walk like you; talk like you believe what you believe etc. The question I have is what did Jeremiah Wright teach him?

Would you support a White President who went to a church which has tenets that said they have a …

1. Commitment to the White Community
2. Commitment to the White Family
3. Adherence to the White Work Ethic
4. Pledge to make the fruits of all developing and acquired skills available to the White Community.
5. Pledge to Allocate Regularly, a Portion of Personal Resources for Strengthening and Supporting White Institutions
6. Pledge allegiance to all White leadership who espouse and embrace the White Value System
7. Personal commitment to embracement of the White Value System.

Would you support a President who went to a church like that?

Just change the word from white to black and you have the tenets of Obama’s former church. If President Bush was a member of a church like this, he would be called a racist. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton would have been marching outside.

This kind of church is a racist church. Obama did not wake up after 20 years and just discovered he went to a racist church. The church can’t be about race. Jesus did not come for any particular race. He came for the whole world.

A church can’t have a value system based on race. The churches value system has to be based on biblical mandate. It does not matter if it’s a white church or a black church it’s still wrong. Anyone from either race that attends a church like this would never get my vote.

Obama’s former Pastor Jeremiah Wright is a disciple of liberal theologian James Cone, author of the 1970 book A Black Theology of Liberation. Cone once wrote: “Black theology refuses to accept a God who is not identified totally with the goals of the black community. If God is not for us and against white people, then he is a murderer, and we had better kill him.

Cone is the man Obama’s mentor looks up to. Does Obama believe this?

So what does all this mean for the nation?

In the past when the Lord brought someone with the beliefs of Obama to lead a nation it meant one thing - judgment.

Read 1 Samuel 8 when Israel asked for a king. First God says in 1 Samuel 1:9 “Now listen to them; but warn them solemnly and let them know what the king who will reign over them will do.”

Then God says

1 Samuel 1:18 “ When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, and the LORD will not answer you in that day.” 19 But the people refused to listen to Samuel. “No!” they said. “We want a king over us. 20 Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles.” 21 When Samuel heard all that the people said, he repeated it before the LORD. 22 The LORD answered, “Listen to them and give them a king.”

Here is what we know for sure.

God is not schizophrenic

He would not tell one person to vote for Obama and one to vote for McCain. As the scripture says, a city divided against itself cannot stand, so obviously many people are not hearing from God.

Maybe I am the one not hearing but I know God does not change and Obama contradicts many things I read in scripture so I doubt it.

For all my friends who are voting for Obama can you really look God in the face and say; Father based on your word, I am voting for Obama even though I know he will continue the genocidal practice of partial birth abortion. He might have to nominate three or four Supreme Court justices, and I am sure he will be nominating liberal judges who will be making laws that are against you. I also know he will continue to push for homosexual rights, even though you destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for this. I know I can look the other way because of the economy.

I could not see Jesus agreeing with many of Obama’s positions. Finally I have two questions for all my liberal friends.

Since we know someone’s value system has to be placed on the nation,

1. Whose value system should be placed on the nation?

2. Who should determine that this is the right value system for the nation?

Blessings,

Huntley Brown

Presidential Deal Breakers

Two years ago, my husband and I decided it was time to trade-in our hip and trendy SUV for the ultimate status symbol - a minivan. (Can you detect the sarcasm?) Well, for practical purposes, we decided to go the minivan route, and I have to admit it's my favorite car I've ever had - definitely a good choice on our part. It may not be hip or trendy, but its practical comfort outweighs any benefits we ever got from our SUV.

Before buying, we took our time comparing makes and models until we decided exactly what we wanted. After searching online inventories of dealers throughout the state, we finally found one that had the exact model we were looking for in stock. I certainly was elated to have finally located a vehicle with all the bells and whistles we wanted, but there was one more thing I needed to know - what color was it? See, Toyota has this awful color called Silver Pine Mica. It's a nauseating green/gold/silver blend - if that makes any sense. Actually, it doesn't, which is why it's so hideous. According to the salesman, it really is a controversial color. People either love it and ask for it by name, or they despise it like me.

So, you can see where I'm going with this, right? Even though after a long search I had located a van with all the options I wanted, if it had been covered with Silver Pine Mica paint, it would have been an absolute deal breaker. That color was so appalling to me, I just couldn't overlook it even with all the other desirable features.

So, how does this relate to presidential politics? Well, I've been paying attention to this election very closely and to the opinions of Christians who are on both sides of the spectrum politically. There are many Christians who will be casting their vote for Barack Obama next month because they agree with his stance on the war, education, health care and his economic policy of "helping the little guy", as well as his promise to increase aid to poverty-stricken countries - just to name a few examples. I can certainly understand how these ideas may resonate with Christians as they seek to undo the many injustices they see in the world. The only problem is that in order to support Barack Obama, a Christian has to ignore the Silver Pine Mica paint job: his overwhelming support of abortion and the vote he cast against the ban on partial-birth abortion, which is nothing less than infanticide. (If you don't know what partial-birth abortion is, do a google search. It will shock and outrage you.)

James tells us to look after widows and orphans - specifically because these people were helpless and utterly dependent on the compassion of others. In the male-dominated society of that era, a husbandless woman and a fatherless child had no voice and no way of conducting business or earning a living. I think it is reasonable to say that the heart of James' message is to look after those who cannot help themselves. Who is more helpless and innocent than an unborn child? No one.

Christians who support Obama might be thinking people like me are so singularly-focused and narrow-minded and wonder how I can be so "obsessed" with one issue. After all, aren't there other issues that matter? Sure there are, but the amount of money we spend on our education system doesn't matter to a child who's never allowed to live. Aborted babies will never have the chance to benefit from Obama's economic policies or grow up to be doers of justice in their communities. Oh, and here's the kicker, a government health care plan is meaningless to a child who's life is taken from her before she can ever see the pediatrician.

No presidential candidate is perfect, but when a candidate supports abortion - including partial-birth abortion - then that's a deal breaker for me. I know the Christians who support Obama do so with good intentions, wanting to express God's love and grace and to undo the perception that Christians are judgemental and intolerant, so they vote as social liberals. Let's follow that premise to it's logical conclusion. Suppose we, as a nation, consistently elected socially liberal candidates. In twenty years, what would our country look like? We would probably have even easier abortions, gay marriage legal nationwide, a decline in traditional two parent families, more government dependence, and the church would be even less relevant than it is today. Who needs the charity and compassion of churches in our communities when the government takes care of everyone? Sure, maybe Christians will no longer be viewed as judgemental and intolerant because they won't even be noticed.

This experiment has already been tried. Go to Europe and see for yourself.

Welcome To The Blogosphere

My friend, Chris, just started his own blog. My husband and I have known Chris for over 10 years, and it's been really cool to see how God has worked in all three of our lives in that time. Chris is a thoughtful and funny guy, and you'll get a sense for that right away when you read his blog. Check it out here.

Welcome to the blogosphere, Chris!

Examining the Pros and Cons of Being a Homeschooling Mom (at least as I see them)

Well, I haven't blogged in a while because my life has been consumed by a new schedule. I have officially become a member of a small - but growing - club. I am now a homeschooling mom. It's a title that comes with a mixture of joys and challenges, and I thought I would list the pros and cons of being a homeschooling mom (or dad), as I see them at this point in my journey. I have a feeling, if I come back to this list in a few months, I'll want to make some changes.

Well, here are the CONS, as I see them:

• You need to be organized and scheduled- more so than I am naturally.
• You need to be flexible. Being too organized and rigid will suck the joy out of the experience for you and your child. Inflexibility essentially squanders the freedom you have to enjoy as a homeschooling parent.
• You have to give up a good portion of your time. You need to be available to your child during "school time", and you need to spend time preparing for your lessons, as well.
• You need to find a way to occupy younger siblings who are not yet in school.
  
• Homeschooling is not free. No matter how you do it (and there are many ways), you do have to put out some money. We've put out about $500 for this year, and we pay approximately $50 per month for our son to attend a local homeschooling academy.
• You have to make a conscious effort to give your homeschooled children time to play with and be with their friends, since they won't be seeing them everyday on the school playground.
• People will think you're a weird, reclusive, religious zealot, and that you want to shelter your child from reality. (And maybe some people who homeschool ARE like that, but not me.)
• You may get disagreement from family and friends regarding your decision to homeschool.
• Many people (perhaps even your spouse) will have no idea what your day-to-day experience is like and be able to share in your passions and your frustrations as a homeschooling parent.
• When you have a rough day, homeschooling can be emotionally exhausting.
• Homeschooling takes up space in your home. You need a space to work and a space to store all your materials. This can either be a space solely dedicated to schooling, such as a "schoolroom", or a multi-purpose space. Many people use their dining room for schooling during the week and transform it back to a dining room on the weekends.
• As a homeschooling parent, your availability to get together with friends (or make appointments) during the day will be very different from that of parents whose kids are in school.

Here are the PROS, as I see them:

• You have the freedom to be flexible and a linger over a topic of particular interest to your child, if desired.
• You can take vacation and field trips whenever you want.
• You can keep up with your schooling a little bit over the summer if you want, so your child doesn't need an entire month of review that all school children have every September.
• Studies show homeschooled kids score better on standardized tests than public school kids. Their scores are equal to or better than private school students.
• Contrary to popular belief, multiple studies have shown that homeschooled kids tend to have a better self-image than their public school peers and are more comfortable interacting with people of all ages. They tend to model their behavior after adults rather than after their peers.
• Your child has to spend less time on his/her academics and can spend more time playing and being a kid. We do our school in about 2 1/2 hours a day.
• You can start your day at a time that suits both you and your kids. With homeschooling, it's possible to sleep in and still have a productive school day!
• Your children (if they are all at home with you) get to spend more time together and hopefully build strong, lasting relationships with their siblings.
• You get to be the one to first introduce your child to controversial or sensitive topics, such as evolution, homosexuality, and spirituality, and explain those topics from your own worldview.
• You get to spend more time with your kids than a parent whose kids are in traditional school.
• You can accommodate your child's unique needs and temperament. If your child is fidgety, you can let him/her stand and do their work. You can take breaks when your child needs it. If your child has trouble staying focused, you are there to help him/her to stay engaged - something that is difficult for a teacher in a large classroom.
• You can move at your child's pace.
• You get to experience the joy of seeing your child learn and the confidence that comes with it.
• Your child has more time for sports and extracurricular activities than children who are in school all day and then have homework in the afternoons.
• You get to learn new things, too!
• It will warm your heart to hear your child say, "Are we having school tomorrow? I love school!"
• Besides helping your child to acquire knowledge, you can really challenge your child to think and analyze (something which I feel, as a former public school teacher, is severely lacking in our schools).
• As a homeschooling parent, you have more opportunities to work on character development with your child because you are with him/her more.
• As homeschooling has become more popular, there are a wide-variety of resources available for homeschooling families such as co-ops, academies, support groups, businesses and museums that offer special activities/classes for homeschoolers, and a wide variety of homeschooling methods and curricula. The sky's the limit!
• If you find the curriculum and resources that suit you and your children, homeschooling can be fun and rewarding for all!
  

Science Lesson

This afternoon we were watching a "How It's Made" episode on Discovery Channel about fluorescent tube lights. When the narrator described how the glass tubes were emptied of air and filled with gas, my son asked almost incredulously, "They fill it with gas?!"

He paused and then asked, "People gas?" (I can only imagine what kind of image that conjured up in his mind!) Then he went on to explain to me that there are two types of gas: car gas and people gas.

There's your science lesson. Got it?

I Don't Wanna Gain the Whole World and Lose My Soul

One of my favorite songs of late is TobyMac's newest single, Lose My Soul. I probably hear it at least once a day lately. It plays several times per day on The Message XM Radio station, and if that's not enough for me, I can always listen to it on my iPod! TobyMac is a hip-hop gospel recording artist, formerly of the popular (now defunct) Christian music group dc Talk. The tune is catchy, and whenever I sing along, I'm singing lyrics that represent my own thoughts and desires.

The first video embedded below is a comical dialogue between Toby and his "psychiatrist" (who is very reminiscent of the late Chris Farley of SNL fame) as they discuss the meaning behind the song. When you watch it, you'll laugh for sure!



To hear the song, you can watch this video below. You'll be humming it the rest of the day!

Up Next on My Reading List...

Here's a great video of Tim Keller at an "Authors@Google" consortium, promoting his newest book The Reason For God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism, which is also the book that is up next on my reading list. (In fact, I plan to read a little after I finish with this entry...) He's says some really thought-provoking stuff.

Not Playing It Safe

Some friends of ours have just announced that they will be moving away in the near future. They don't know when they'll be moving, or even where they will be moving. They don't even know exactly what they'll do when they get there. They're happy right here - where they are, but they just know God is showing them it's time to go elsewhere. So, when the time is right, they'll be taking their kids and going - somewhere God shows them He wants them to be. Sounds crazy, doesn't it?

It may sound crazy, but it's not really. It's a part of the thrilling race we, Christians, experience when we surrender completely to Christ. See, our friends have a relationship with God because they're trusting in Jesus and submitting their entire lives to Him. They are committed to following God's direction in their lives. This doesn't make them special or "holier than thou". (Everyone can have this type of relationship with God - in fact that's exactly what He wants for all of us.) It doesn't make them extra-holy, but it does make their lives interesting and overflowing with purpose.

Those of us who commit our lives to God's purposes and live truly believing that Jesus was bodily resurrected from the dead (verifying that He truly is the Son of God), often find ourselves starting out on journeys we never would have expected and whose final destinations may be unknown. When we live in relationship with our Heavenly Father, submitted wholly to Him, it's not uncommon to find ourselves taking giant leaps of faith, trusting in a God who often reveals only the next step and asks us simply to follow and obey. It's in the following, trusting and obeying where our lives become exciting (to say the least) and take on true purpose. We'll find ourselves doing and enjoying things we never thought we would and accomplishing things we never thought we could - all made possible by following after Jesus and submitting entirely to His specific will and purpose for our lives. It means life is not about trying to find our way on our own and then hoping that our decisions work out, and it's definitely not about playing it safe.

• It's the young family who moves to a foreign land to teach in an international school and serve as missionaries because that's what God is asking them to do.

• It's the almost-empty-nesters who decide to adopt orphans because God has shown them that's His will for their family.

• It's the woman who submits to God's will for her life and spends decades taking in foster-babies, often born drug-addicted, and caring for them until they can be returned to their mothers.

• It's the man who gives up his successful and lucrative career to become a pastor and support his family on half the income because he's surrendering to God.

• It's the parents who decide to tackle the difficult and unpopular task of homeschooling their child because they see he has unique needs, and God has made it clear that's His desire for them.

• It's our friends I mentioned above, who will be leaving people and a place they love because God is showing them that He has plans for them elsewhere.

We are all strings in a beautiful tapestry of redemption and grace that God has been weaving since the beginning of time. We need to be pliable threads, so the Weaver can use us where He knows we fit. He doesn't use us all the same way, but He wants to make us a part of His grand design for redeeming this imperfect world and all of us who live within it. This is His masterpiece, and as tiny threads we can only see it in part, but it's in the process of being picked up and woven, intertwined with the other threads that our lives take on the full meaning and purpose God desires for us.

To our friends, Scott and Andrea: We will miss you and your two boys when you're gone, but we know the Weaver has a special place and purpose for you in His amazing design, and that's exactly where you need to be. We just hope that somewhere down the road, God will lead you back to us!

How Would You Like to See This Hanging From Your Ceiling?

This past Friday night, when I was putting the kids to bed, I looked across our upstairs balcony over our foyer and saw that our glass chandelier (which was installed when our house was built 5 years ago) was hanging a little crookedly from the ceiling. I stepped closer to get a better look and saw that the fixture was actually coming apart at the seams!

When we awoke the next morning, it was clear that it had gotten worse and was definitely on it's way down. We called our electrician friend, Craig, who was kind enough to come over on his day off (and haul his enormous ladder with him) and remove our deadly chandelier before it came crashing down. I shudder at the thought of what could have happened if I hadn't noticed the problem before the light (very heavy with lots of glass!) fell.

Now, I am in the process of trying to get the manufacturer to give me my money back. Of course, everyone says I need to talk to someone else. You know how that goes... We'll see if I can get someone to do the right thing.

Here are some other pictures of our deadly chandelier:



Our friend, Craig, performed the heroic task of removing the hazard from our home. Whew!

A Father's Love

Matthew 7:9-11

⁹ “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? ¹⁰ Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! ¹¹ So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him."

Here is a video of an interview on NBC's Today Show with "Team Hoyt". It's an incredible love story between a severely disabled son and his father, who has stopped at nothing to give his son a better life.

As a parent, I was moved to tears by this father's love when I first saw this video, and as a child of God, I couldn't help but also think of the Bible verses above.

God Cares About the Smallest of Things

I just wanted to give credit where credit is due. (Bear with me and all the details...) A little over an hour ago, I decided to search on eBay for some of the homeschool curriculum we are using for our son this fall. The curriculum, Sonlight, is pretty pricey, so I've been keeping an eye out for good bargains on eBay. I found an auction (with barely more than an hour left) that had many of the items I needed at a still very low price. I wanted to bid on it, but hesitated because with Father's Day and various other things, we've had quite a few more expenses this past week and, therefore, a tighter budget.

Then I remembered three items I have here at home that I need to return to the store. Their total cost added up to $48. A little thought went through my head (looking back, I believe it was God whispering in His still, small voice): "Make $48 your maximum bid even though other auctions have sold for much more. That way, if you win, you won't be taking any more money out of the bank account, and if you can actually buy all of those books for $48 or less (a real bargain even by eBay standards), maybe it will be God's way of confirming you've made the right choice to homeschool Jamie next year."

So..... I used my favorite online auction-sniping program and placed a max bid for $48 and set it to place the bid 5 seconds before the auction's end. I won the item for $48 exactly, meaning $48 really was the absolute lowest max bid I could have put in to win. (For those of you who don't use eBay, many times you never actually pay your max - only just enough to surpass the next highest bidder's previously-set maximum.) I had no way of knowing the current winning bidder had already made a max bid of $47.18 (since the price was only at $37.50 when I placed mine), but God knew! He also provided the exact amount of money to pay for it, too! And after receiving criticism for our decision to homeschool for Kindergarten, God gave me the much-appreciated confirmation that we are doing what's right for our child, and He's taking care of the rest.

What an awesome God we have!

Why None of Us Is Meant to Be Alone

I read this quote by the 19th century English poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, on a wall plaque, and it seems to be a perfect image of friendship and the built-in human need for companionship.

"Friendship is a sheltering tree."

Shaping a World-View

Earlier this week I had a conversation with my five-year-old son, Jamie, which reminded me that parents have the awesome privilege and responsibility of shaping their child's world-view. He asked me a very simple question while examining his previously skinned - now healed - knee, "Mama, why do we have scabs?" Of course, I told him it's like our body's own special band-aid. Then he said (and this is where you can detect his world-view), "I'm so glad God gave us scabs! He thought of everything!" This innocent, childlike remark gave me such satisfaction as parent. It's clear from his comments that he views the world and all within it as created and cared for by God.

Opportunities to shape his view of the world and his place in it come up at random times. I never know when I'll get a question or witness an incident that offers me the opportunity to show him the truth of God's love and his laws. For instance, Jamie has become fascinated with the Star Wars characters, even though he has never seen any of the movies. (He was first awestruck when he saw Darth Vader and some Storm Troopers make an appearance on a special episode of the game show Deal or No Deal!) He knows that Darth Vader wasn't always a bad guy, and he has often asked the question, "How did Darth Vader get bad?" I answered with, "He became selfish and stopped caring about other people. He only cared about what he wanted." Then he asked a much more searching question, "How do people get selfish?" This is where I had an open door to teach him the truth about God and our relationship to Him. I told him, "People become selfish when they stop listening to God."

It's amazing how scabs and Star Wars (and anything else, for that matter) can become springboards for teaching Truth to a child. It makes me want all the more to make sure that I am physically and emotionally present with my children as much as possible, so that I can be the person they turn to when these thoughts and questions run through their heads. I believe as a parent, I have a solemn duty to impart Truth to my children, so that they can stand up against the inevitable storms of life, much like the wise man Jesus described, who built his house - not on the sand - but upon the Rock.

Be Lifted High

I recently bought the album "Stand" by the Christian recording artist, Michael W. Smith, on iTunes. The song "Be Lifted High" really resonates with me. I found this video on YouTube featuring the song.

I pray for myself that these words would be true everyday in my life. It's a daily struggle to deny myself and follow Jesus, and this song puts that life experience to song. When you play the video, listen carefully to the lyrics.

Serving

This past Saturday, I did something I had never done before. I drove to an elementary school - 30 minutes away from my home, in a run-down area of town - to tutor kids who need extra help in math and reading. To be honest, I don't think I would have ever taken the initiative on my own and applied to be a tutor if it weren't for the efforts of our church staff, who made the decision to organize our church members to help the faculty and students of this particular school in any way possible. This is a school where the vast majority of kids are on free or reduced lunches (i.e. living near the poverty level), and where most kids come from single-parent homes. These are kids who were born into difficult family situations beyond their control and who are at risk for all types of delinquency. Even the most caring, loving parent would find it difficult to provide the best nurturing environment when s/he is working 2 or 3 minimum wage paying jobs just to barely make ends meet while feeling overworked and overstressed. Right now, many of these children still have their natural childhood innocence, but where will they be when they are 12, 16, 18 without other adults taking an interest in their lives? It's a problem that is quite staggering when you think of it.

So the big question in my head is: why don't more Christians help kids like these? Churches are always emphasizing acts of service (or in church-people speak: "serving the Lord"), but why are these types of compassionate ministries so noticeably absent from the lives of most Christians? Here are a few reasons I believe people ignore compassionate ministry, such as tutoring or mentoring at-risk children in a public school setting (and I write from personal experience):

• The popular misconception that "serving the Lord" means joining the choir, teaching Sunday School or Vacation Bible School, keeping the church nursery, being a church greeter, serving on a church committee, etc. In other words, "serving the Lord" means finding a place to serve inside your local church - no need to go outside the church. Certainly, we can and should contribute to the efforts of our local church; however, the Church is not a building or a local group of people. We, Christians all over the world, are the Church, and we have the ability to go into different neighborhoods, cities and countries and make an impact in people's lives.
  
• Another misconception: compassionate ministries and acts of kindness are meaningless unless accompanied by a figurative "Bible-thump" over the head. In other words, if we're not directly telling people about Jesus, why bother? While it is true that Jesus told us to "go and make disciples", he also said in Matthew 25 that whatever we did for "the least of these" (after describing the poor, homeless, sick, imprisoned, etc.) we did for him. James also describes caring for widows and orphans as "pure and faultless" religion. It seems pretty clear that "serving the Lord" has a much broader definition than just "making disciples". By the way, when people who openly love and follow Jesus sacrifice their time and energy to selflessly help others, I believe that does tell others a little something about Jesus, you know?
• Another reason people don't serve in this manner: they really don't care. It could be an "out of sight, out of mind" problem, or it could be a sense of retributive justice. "Not my problem you screwed up your life. You made your bed, now lie in it." We shouldn't forget God's mercy and compassion for us. It was never his problem that we chose to sin and separate ourselves from Him, but He sure went out of his way to fix our problem, didn't He?
• Some people feel the problems in our world are so big, and there are so many people suffering, that one person's small effort cannot make a difference. Here's a great quote from Mother Theresa on this: "If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one."
  

As I mentioned above, I can write this list from personal experience because I am guilty of thinking each of these at some point, but I am thankful that God continues to teach me and mold my heart and mind to be more like his. I learned on Saturday that God has given me a gift and a passion I didn't know I had. I'll definitely be looking for more Saturday tutoring opportunities next school year. One day, when I am no longer the busy stay-at-home mom of two preschool-aged children, I may be able to find time during the week to tutor or mentor kids at the school.

So, do you want to know how my first tutoring session went? Well, I couldn't be at the school until one hour before the session was scheduled to end, so I had very little time to offer. When I arrived, a teacher led me over to a 4th grade boy, Malcolm, who was already working on his reading assignment. I didn't do very much - except express kindness and encouragement as we went over his reading and the follow-up questions together. After completing the task, we chatted for only a minute or two before the bell rang, signaling the end of the Saturday Academy session. What happened next showed me how my small effort made a big difference to him. He asked, "When will I see you again?" I told him I wasn't sure because this past weekend was the last Saturday Academy session of the year. He then asked with a big smile, "Will you come back next year?"

Of course, I said, "Yes! "

Sweet Child of Mine

I just want to brag on my son, Jamie, a bit.

I feel like such a lucky (or should I say blessed for all the church-people out there) woman to be the mother of such a sweet little boy. This morning while my husband was in the bathroom getting dressed for work, and I was lying in bed - still in that semi-awake-half-asleep state of mind, Jamie came in our bedroom and hopped on the bed, as is his usual routine. He immediately announced, "Mama, I'm going to say something that's very nice." He then said, "Mama, I love you so much." Of course, I was touched and told him I also lived him very much. He then continued, "You're the best mama ever. I'm never going to stop loving you!"

Oh, I'm so lucky (or blessed!)

What Are We Waiting For?

Our small group discussion this week focused on serving others, and our church is coordinating efforts to serve people in need in our local community and other parts of the world. To quote Sally Clarkson from her book Seasons of a Mother's Heart: "God's truth may fill [our] minds, and his Spirit may be at work in [our] hearts, but the process is incomplete until the passion of Jesus for the lost and hurting moves [our] hands to reach out to the people for whom he died." I think she sums it up quite well. (To see my previous blog entry on her book, click here.)

Here's a great music video about serving others I found on YouTube a few months ago. It's set to the the popular song "Waiting on the World to Change" by John Mayer, and the message is quite compelling.

A Good Woman Knows She Cannot Please Everyone

A good woman (or man) knows she cannot please everyone. That's a sentiment I first read in Nice Girls Don't Change the World by Lynne Hybels. You can read my previous post on this thought-provoking book here.

Being unable to please everyone certainly isn't a new concept that I had never heard before reading Lynne Hybels' book, but I guess it seemed to be so real to Lynne as a recovering people-pleaser that it really struck me. I know that I, too, am a people-pleaser in the process of recovery, and I still have a hard time dealing with other people's disapproval of my choices - particularly people of influence in my life. I'm not sure how to psychoanalyze myself and identify the root cause for my people-pleasing desires, but I know I've been this way for years. Maybe it's part personality - I am relationally oriented. Maybe I'm too much of a perfectionist. Maybe it's my own pride and desire to want to look perfect to others. Maybe I have some of the deep subconscious beliefs that Lynne Hybels discovered within herself. One day she realized, although she knew God's love was a gift of grace, she still had spent most of her life trying to prove she was worthy of his love. That spilled over into every area of her life until she found that she had spent decades trying to please God and others in ways they had never demanded of her. As a result, no one benefited from Lynne living the life God had purposed for her. Eventually, she concluded she could no longer be a "nice girl", always trying to please others. Instead, she wanted to be a good woman - and a downright dangerous woman who can change the world by living out God's unique purpose for her life.

Well, I recently had to remind myself of the lesson I learned: a good woman knows she cannot please everyone. My husband and I recently announced a controversial decision we have made regarding our 5 year old son's education: we have decided to homeschool him for Kindergarten. Even before we announced our intentions, we knew this would not please everyone close to us, yet I still was hurt on a personal level, when we received the strong, outspoken opposition that we had expected to receive. Although I knew the opposition would be there, I still was very distressed over their unwavering disapproval. I think I had been hoping that we would be able to convince them to take a wait-and-see approach and eventually their opinion would change. In time, I thought, I'd have their approval, but it seems pretty clear there will always be disagreement, and I need to learn to be OK with that. Like I said, I am a recovering people-pleaser and still very much in the process of learning to be focused solely on God's desires for me and not the will of others. That's tough, especially when I know that I may have to displease others in order to do what I believe is right. I'm sure there are plenty of other recovering people-pleasers out there who can fully understand my sentiments.

On a lighter note, when I was lying in bed yesterday evening, sick with a stomach virus and worrying way too much over our homeschooling controversy, Jamie, the 5 year old at the center of this saga, came in the room and sat on the bed beside me to tell me he felt sorry that I was still sick. Of course, I was touched, and I told him I loved him and loved being his Mama. He then said, "I love being with you too, Mama." Oh, how I needed to hear that.

My Little Martial Artist

Jamie, our energetic 5-year-old son, is a student of Taekwondo. Oh, yes, he's pretty fierce in his white belt with a black stripe! For the past 8 months, he has been a student at a local Christian Taekwondo University (originally founded by this man) that holds classes in our church building.

This week has been an especially exciting week for Jamie's study of Taekwondo. First, his instructors organized a Taekwondo drama demonstration for both services at our church this past Sunday morning, and secondly, he was able to attend a TKD seminar (also held at our church) last night that was led by Grandmaster Brenda Sell, the President of the U.S Chung Do Kwan Association and the highest-ranked female in the world. She holds an 8th Dan (degree) black belt in Taekwondo. Her husband, Sr. Grandmaster Edward Sell, who holds a 9th Dan black belt is the highest ranked non-oriental in Taekwondo. Jamie was so excited that he was able to meet a person who knew even more about Taekwondo than his instructors. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience for him to be able to receive instruction from a Grandmaster. When he's older, I'm sure he will really appreciate knowing he took part in this special event.


Let me also tell you a little bit about the TKD demo Jamie participated in on Sunday. I know it might sound a bit strange, but it was really cool to watch! The group of students and instructors acted out a supernatural battle between good and evil set to the song The Champion by Carman. Jamie played the role of an angel who cheered for Jesus as he fought against Satan. Jamie displayed his tremendous acting ability as he covered his mouth with his hands in shock and disbelief when Jesus put his hands by his side and let Satan give him a fatal kick to the head (a symbol of the crucifixion.) Then, after a few seconds, Jesus stood back up (symbolizing the resurrection) and took down Satan and his demons one-by-one. The demo culminated with Jesus (played by Master Luckett, one of Jamie's instructors) breaking through a stack of concrete blocks, labeled SIN, symbolizing how Jesus' sacrificial death broke the bondage of sin. It was a really powerful demonstration of the redeeming work of Christ.

Afterwards, Jamie was proud of his involvement in the demo and extremely thrilled that he got to see Master Luckett break concrete for the first time! Certainly, after seeing the skills of Master Luckett (and also meeting Grandmaster Brenda last night), he has newfound inspiration for practicing his martial arts, but there's a more important lesson we hope he takes away from this experience. We told him that not only were we proud of how well he followed directions while on stage, but that we were especially proud that he had used his abilities to tell other people about Jesus. I really hope Jamie understands that is the most important thing that happened on the stage yesterday. I'll do my best to remind him whenever I have the chance.

If you want to locate a Christian Taekwondo University (CTU) near you, click here. We are thoroughly pleased with the physical, mental and spiritual training Jamie is receiving through his lessons. I highly recommend it!

Also, here is a video clip depicting the song The Champion. It is not a video of Sunday's performance, but it can give you an idea of the demo on Sunday.

WARNING: Being a Parent Will Suck The Life Out of You!

Well, I am officially exhausted. Pooped. Whipped. Whatever you want to call it.

Today has been one of those emotionally stressful days that sometimes occur in the life of a stay-at-home parent, and I am physically and mentally exhausted. My children have steadily beaten me down all day. I'm sure it was a conspiracy. "I'll have a temper-tantrum over losing a game of Chutes and Ladders, and just when I've got her all flustered, YOU start screaming and crying in your high-chair and throw your sippy cup on the floor. Make sure the milk splatters everywhere when you do it, too, OK? We'll take her down!"

This afternoon, around 4 PM, when my blood had finally hit it's boiling point and I was about to blow a gasket, I got the idea to take a long, relaxing shower in the hopes of having some time to be alone and talk to God - to re-center myself in His love. I prayed (in desperation, to be completely honest) and asked God to help me see the world through my 5-year-old's eyes. As you can imagine, we had been at each other's throats for most of the day, and I'm sure many of our battles were a result of me not understanding his thoughts and intentions. Starting to feel renewed, I began singing a song that came to mind, Your Love, Oh Lord by Third Day. Well, wouldn't you know the little sucker who was supposed to be in his bed sleeping off his bad attitude, which is almost always the result of him being too tired, had sneaked into the bathroom? I spun around just in time to see his blurry hand reach for the shower door, but a quick reprimand (probably the 100th of the day) stopped him from following through with his plan - whatever it was. So while I'm praying to be able to see the world from his point of view, he's plotting to expose me in the shower!

There are definitely moments when I wonder, "Will he ever know the lengths of my love and sacrifices for him? Will he ever really understand? Will he ever thank me?" Of course, as I write this, I am sure I'm only feeling a portion of what our Heavenly Father feels for us. Will we ever know the depth and width of HIS love? Will we ever really understand how it felt for God when Jesus, his Son, with whom he is One, took on all the guilt and shame of all eternity and died as a man in a humiliating, painful manner on a Roman cross? How many of us will ever thank him? Just a few thoughts that came to me right now as I am typing.

Well, both of the little boogers are finally in bed, and I'm TIRED. It's 9:30 PM. After a day like today, I probably should have my head on a pillow right now, or at least be watching Dirty Jobs on Discovery Channel. But, instead, I'm spending my time writing this blog entry. Now, I'm starting to think I might also be crazy.

**************************************************************

Lyrics to Your Love, Oh Lord by Third Day (my shower song)

Your love, oh Lord
Reaches to the heavens.
Your faithfulness stretches to the sky
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains
Your justice flows like the ocean's tide
I will lift my voice
To worship You, my King
I will find my strength
In the shadow of your wings

The Stuttering Brain

Those of you who read my blog regularly (if indeed any of you exist) may have noticed that I've recently added a list of books I'm reading. One book, in particular, stands out as different among the rest in my list: The Lidcombe Program of Early Stuttering Intervention: A Clinician's Guide by Mark Onslow. It is a textbook detailing the Lidcombe Method for treating stuttering in preschool-aged children. I am particularly interested in this because my 5 year old son has struggled greatly with stuttering, and the exact cause of stuttering is still a mystery to this day. There are many theoretical approaches to dealing with stuttering, but all of these are based on presumptive theories relating to the assumed causes of stuttering. Lidcombe is an atheoretical method for treating stuttering. That is to say - the method is not based upon a theory as to the cause of stuttering. It is simply based on clinical research regarding methods that are proven successful in eliminating stuttering in young children - regardless of the cause.

The Lidcombe approach, although it has been thoroughly researched and shown to be very successful with children under the age of 6, is not the typical stuttering treatment a child would receive here in the United States. Only a small number of clinicians here in the U.S. use this approach. Lidcombe was developed primarily in Australia, and is a popular choice for clinicians in Australia, New Zealand, South Africa and the United Kingdom. It is a bit radical in it's direct approach, yet it is very simple to implement. It is pure operant conditioning, based upon B.F. Skinner's model of reward, punishment and extinction. With Lidcombe, to summarize briefly(read the book to really learn how to use it), the parent (the clinician simply teaches the parent how to implement the therapy, and then subsequently attains objective measures of treatment progress) in both structured and non-structured conversation offers the child acknowledgment and praise when statements are uttered fluently (i.e. stutter-free) and acknowledges the "bumps" when a child stutters unambiguously, followed by a request to try the statement again. One key factor in making this pleasant for the child is that the positive verbal contingencies must outnumber the negative at least 5:1. This whole idea of directly addressing the stutter with a child flies in the face of many past passive approaches, which were to never acknowledge or address the issue with the child for fear it will make them self-conscious and therefore struggle all the more. In fact, many experts thought the idea of operant conditioning for stuttering was completely abhorrent when the research first began in this area. Yet, for some unknown reason, it works! Perhaps very young children have enough brain plasticity to figure out on their own how to control the stutter once they are encouraged to do so.

Here in the US, one is more likely to receive treatment that is based somewhat on the demands and capacities model - changing conversational and environmental stressors to promote fluency - as well as fluency shaping techniques - teaching stutterers to elongate vowels and and speak with relaxed, slow speech. These techniques have shown success with stutterers, but there are quite a few who are not helped by these methods of treatment. Of the number of children who spontaneously develop stuttering in the preschool years, a full 20% will never recover - despite therapy - and will go on to become adult stutterers. Boys are more often affected than girls, and the risk for boys to become lifelong stutterers is 4 times greater than that for girls. Many of the 80% who recover, do so spontaneously without therapy. That indicates that the failure rate for therapy is much greater than 20%. As the mother of a 5 year old boy who stutters, I know the odds are not necessarily in his favor, but I refuse to give up and settle for one approach that only has shown limited success. I am committed to learning all I can about the supposed causes of stuttering, and I plan to implement this Lidcombe operant therapy at home while my son still receives more traditional therapy once a week at our local elementary school.

Another area in which I plan to do more research and reading regarding stuttering help is in the relatively new field of educational kinesiology (Edu-K.) This is the study and application of natural movement experiences to facilitate learning. It focuses on the performance of specific physical activities that activate the brain for optimal storage and retrieval of information. It has been shown to help with ADD, ADHD, Sensory Integration Disorder as well as basic focus and concentration in both children and adults. I theorize that stuttering has both behavioral and physiological components. It only makes sense, then, to try to treat both. I first began to look into this area when I read in a journal article, What Causes Stuttering?, by Christian Buechel and Martin Sommer. The article explains that PET scans and fMRI imaging have shown in multiple studies that the right hemisphere of the brain is hyperactive in adult stutterers when they produce stutter-free speech; wheareas the left hemisphere is more active when producing stuttered speech. This leads to the hypothesis that the right hemisphere language areas try to compensate for a deficit in the left, and that perhaps the 80% of people who recover from stuttering are those who are able to use their right brain hemispheres for language production. This discovery prompted me to ask, "Is there a way to improve right hemisphere functions and cross-communication between the two hemispheres of the brain?" Indeed, there are exercises and activities that have been shown to improve cross-communication between the left and right hemispheres of the brain as well as other aspects of brain function, and I plan to learn more regarding the research in this field. I have a few books I've ordered on the way. I'll update my blog when I learn more.

I've told my husband I am on a mission to help our son overcome his stuttering. He has already shown significant improvement in the past few months - most of it before we started traditional therapy, and I have my theories regarding his seemingly spontaneous improvement. Hopefully, I will have more information to support my theory once I have read more about Edu-K.

For more information and all the cutting-edge theories and research regarding stuttering, check out the blog, The Stuttering Brain, from which I borrowed the title for this entry. I also have included it in my list of blogs on the left-hand column of the page.

No More Nice Girl

I recently read the book, Nice Girls Don't Change The World, by Lynne Hybels. It's a fantastic little book that challenges a notion that many women (particularly those raised in the church) have readily accepted, which is that God requires them to always be a "nice girl" -- living as a people-pleaser and never breaking the mold or ruffling any feathers. This book was born out of Lynne's personal journey of learning to no longer settle for "niceness." Instead, she battled herself out of depression by learning that God wanted her to become a "good woman" and live out His purpose. Here is her definition of a good woman:

The opposite of a nice girl, I learned is a "good woman." Being a good woman means trading the safe, passive, people-pleasing behavior of niceness for the dynamic power of true goodness. It means moving from the weakness and immaturity of girlhood toward the strength and maturity of womanhood.
Whereas a nice girl of any age lives out the script she learned as a child -- a script too often grounded in powerlessness -- a woman acknowledges and accepts her power to change, and grow, and be a force for good in the world.
Whereas a nice girl tends to live according to the will of others, a good woman has only one goal: to discern and live out the will of God.
A good woman knows that her ultimate calling in life is to be part of God's plan for redeeming all things in this sin-touched world.
A good woman knows she cannot be all things to all people, and she may, in fact displease those who think she should just be nice. She is not strident or petty or demanding, but she does live according to conviction. She knows that the Jesus she follows was a revolutionary who never tried to keep everyone happy.
That picture of a good woman made me want to be one. It made me want to grow up and trade the innocuous acceptability of niceness for the world-changing power and passion of true goodness.

What to Do With Jesus

Yesterday was Palm Sunday and the beginning of the Passion Week, which culminates with Easter Sunday, the celebration of Jesus' resurrection from the grave. The week is appropriately given the name "Passion" because it's a time to celebrate God's passion for us! God is passionate about us, but we must decide if our passion also lies with Him.

If you read the various accounts of Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem (Matthew 21, Mark 11, Luke 19, John 12) on what we now celebrate as Palm Sunday, you see how the villagers who greeted him honored him as the King of Kings. They waved palm branches in exaltation and placed their cloaks over his shoulders and upon his donkey as if they were royal robes. Many laid their cloaks across the road, as a royal carpet, honoring their King as he returned to them. They praised him shouting, "Hosanna!" - a greeting reserved for kings returning from war. Jesus was not and never claimed to be an earthly king, yet he is the King of all Kings and Lord of all Creation. The crowds who greeted him on Palm Sunday in Jerusalem worshiped him, and gave him the glory and honor he deserves.

Only a few days had passed before he encountered two entirely different crowds. First, he was brought before the Jewish high priests and the Sanhedrin, the Jewish Council. (Jesus was a Jew, so he lived under their governing authority and was brought to them to be charged with blasphemy, as they had already conspired against him.) When Jesus refused to deny his claim to be the Son of God, they charged him with blasphemy and declared him worthy of execution. They spit upon him, slapped him and mocked him saying, "Prophesy, and tell us who slapped you that time, Messiah!" He then was presented to Pilate, the Roman governor. Pilate addressed the large crowds outside, asking them what he should do with Jesus. Pilate was willing to let Jesus go free because he felt he had committed no crime. However, the crowd yelled, "Crucify him!", and Pilate (being the wimp that he was) handed him over to be crucified, even though he believed Jesus was an innocent man.

So Jesus, in a matter of days, received glory and praise from one crowd of people and rejection from another, yet no matter how he is ever received, he's still the King of Kings. That fact will never change. Everyone who has lived ever since has had to make the same decision as Pilate and the crowds: we all have to decide what to do with Jesus. Either we give Jesus the glory and honor he deserves in our lives, or we can can shake our fist at him and reject him. There's really no in-between. Many people try to find what they feel is the "moderate" approach to Jesus and say they believe he was a great teacher and a good man. But let's face it: a good man and great teacher doesn't claim to be the Son of God if he really isn't, and a liar certainly doesn't submit to death by Roman crucifixion and refuse to deny his false claim. There's really no way he could have been just a good teacher or a good man. Jesus was either a nut, a bold-faced liar or he really was telling the truth. There's just no room for the "good teacher and good man" perspective in there.

Here is a short video, The Jesus Rant, that puts Jesus into historical perspective. It's very brief and well worth the time. Unfortunately, I'm not able to embed it here in my blog, but it can still be viewed by clicking on this link.

Additionally, a great book on the deity of Jesus, is More Than A Carpenter by Josh McDowell. It's a best-seller and was written by a former skeptic.